Eating with the family…
This is a picture of my dad eating. He had just made lunch for me, but he couldn’t eat it with me. I had to eat it at another table with my four-year-old son while he sat there away from me.
Why? Because that’s what the Watch Tower Society tells him to do.
I posted this picture on a Facebook forum October 26, 2013. The first response I received was, “Don’t know what to say. This boggles the mind; mind-control religion at its very worst!”
Minutes later a flood of comments and “Likes” followed, reminding me that a good picture can easily replace a thousand words.
For those of you who are curious, I must explain that my extended family began shunning me a year ago after I questioned the authority of the Watchtower’s Governing Body. My family’s unanimous well-meaning response to my doubts was by expressing their opinion that I “must be an apostate” and “severe shunning would surely bring me to my senses.”
After my mother died eight months ago, my dad, being all alone, went to the elders in the congregation he attended to see if he’d be allowed to visit with me. They said that since I was his son, he could visit with me at his house. But he could not discuss religion – nor could he share a meal with me at the same table.
Two weeks ago, I called my dad and asked if his grandson and I could visit him. He said “yes” and even offered to make lunch. But shortly before serving the meal, he said that he wasn’t going to sit at the same table with us. When I asked why, his reply was, “The organization says so.”
That confession allowed me to vent my feelings for maybe thirty minutes, describing to him about the harm caused by shunning and other Watchtower policies. He listened politely. But I could see that he was not in a “cognitive dissonance mode” – so nothing I said registered with him.
After I spoke my piece, he served a nice meal to me and my son. Then he chose to sit alone in a small area of the kitchen with his back turned to us while eating his lunch. I sat there speechless, trying to figure out what was going on in his mind. That’s when it occurred to me that I had to capture this moment on my camera phone.
As I nibbled on my lunch, a feeling of pure sadness engulfed me. But as bad as I felt, I had this gut-wrenching feeling for Dad. This had to be much harder for him. Here’s an 80-year-old man thinking that he is doing this for God. He feels he has to suffer through this intuitively wrong act to be loyal to what he thinks is “God’s organization.”
But the story does not end here. My son is growing up seeing this silliness going on. Can the Watchtower be blind to the damage caused by their harmful policies, not just to us adults but to innocent kids who have “no dog in the fight?”
Tears were running down my face as I drove away from my father’s home. But I also realized that I was not alone in this situation. Today, there are thousands of us who no longer believe the Watchtower’s lies we used to feed on. We now know the truth about several Watchtower policies that sacrifice the civil rights of current and former members.
We can no longer turn a blind eye to the suffering and cries of others due to the Watchtower’s policy of shunning. I know that I can’t!
Extreme shunning is inhumane! It is a cruel and unjust punishment – a despicable act of a mind-controlling religion that’s afraid of losing its members and financial contributors. My goals are to make the non-JW world community aware of the emotional and psychological damage from shunning, for the court of public opinion to find the Watchtower guilty as charged, and to put a stop to this barbaric practice.
And yes – I think that sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words – sometimes, maybe even more!
Update: November 14, 2013 – Thanks to an AAWA volunteer, Patrick Haeck, a dual language version of this article in English and Dutch is now available. A collection of our articles in various foreign languages will soon be online to serve our non-English speaking readers. We will provide more information on this new feature soon.Read the Spanish version of this article here…
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Thank you for your story Rick and I posted this on Yahoo answers for others to read of your sad situation with your Dad. Just curious why the witless borg has allowed him to even spend anytime with you.
Thank you for getting the word out Babs! This practice needs to stop! There’s no justifiable reason for it!
Thank you for getting the “word” out Babs! Stories like this the world needs to know!
I am one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and I strongly oppose the practice of shunning. I think it is barbaric, medieval, and un-christian. I strongly support your efforts to alert the public of this harmful practice. A growing minority of Witnesses oppose this practice, and a majority of my local congregation regularly circumvents the policy, because they know it to be wrong. I know an elder who secretly violates the policy, and I don’t blame him. He is too frightened to speak his mind, but at least he is doing the right thing, even if he has to do it secretly.
Thank you for sharing your views, Andrew. It is my hope that the secret minority will some day find their voice and help get this policy changed.
Thanks for your reply, it is simply barbaric to separate families on the basis of religion! I’m happy that as a witness you see this and can only hope these types of stories get out there for the world to see!
If you’re also caught up in the J.W. organization/wacked-out mob, how far are you away from Watchtower. I ran two of them away from my door a while back; told them I was atheist and if they returned I’d turn my dogs loose.
Well, your web name is appropos. Not only are you godless, but you are kindless, tactless, and humanless. You obviously don’t want to help anyone.
Jola, have you had your life interrupted by these predatory missionaries who feel that they have the right to invade your home to spread their particular brand of the gospel? Tact doesn’t work on them. My grandmother tried tact and wound up spending countless hours with them. She politely asked them if they’d stop coming around and they used guilt to goad her into further visits. No matter how she tried, once they got access to her home, they wouldn’t stop coming around. And, naturally, each visit got a request for a donation. My grandmother didn’t have much money but guilt (and they poured that on) is a powerful motivator.
When I heard about this, I went over and told them that if they so much as stepped foot on her property, I’d have them arrested for trespassing and, if that didn’t work, I’d take stronger measures to guarantee that they wouldn’t come back.
This didn’t work, either, because once she had invited them in, trespassing charges wouldn’t stick. So, I had to tell them that if I caught them there again, I’d smack them in their thick heads with a shovel.
So sometimes tact has to be applied with a bit of force.
My father, who is an elder (the coordinator actually) also secretly violates the policy in what regards me (we have the exact same relationship as ever) and others. He stated, when I told him I’m leaving, that no man nor organisation is going to interfere between him and his family.
P.S. I do not mean to brag, I just want to share my happy experience, sinces there are sooo little of this kind in what regards leaving de JW. To help in keeping the faith that there are still people with some sense in there.
It is nice to hear that there are still a few JWs who have not gone completely brain-dead when it comes to the Society’s shameful policy about shunning family members.
The problem is that even those who secretly violate the practice are hypocrites because they refuse to stand up to the elders and tell them to stuff it. They are condoning it by their secrecy. If these backdoor deal breakers are so warped in the head that they have to put on the face of a subhuman drone to secure their golden ticket to paradise, then they really haven’t improved on the situation, and may eventually find themselves compounding the problem when they are revealed and bring further drama on their families.
Grow a pair between your legs and stand up to these barbaric codgers! If yours don’t work, borrow someone else’s, but goddammit, be a frickin’ man, already.
James, Some JW’s won’t lie. My friend whose son is DFed told me she doesn’t think disfellowshipping applies in families, she’ll always try to be there for her kids if they need her, but she doesn’t tell everyone how she feels, because she knows not all will agree with her.
Sorry-I meant to add that as I told my DFed friend’s JW mother; “I can’t do the disfellowshipping thing. I hope you’re not mad at me.”-my way of telling her I’m still speaking with her daughter. This JW mother told me she didn’t mind.
My Mother is a JW and has been for 30+ years now. My kids have never received a wrap present from their grandmother their entire life. My kids are 23,16, 13, and 9. I can say it has bothered the kids but I think I have explained it well enough that they understand. The only time mom will eat with us is if we are in a restaurant otherwise she will not eat with us. her excuse is diet reasons but i know different. My mom is a great person apart from the JW Religion. I will say she has settled down and her life has changed a lot from when I was growing up until now.
Anyway, you said “. I know an elder who secretly violates the policy, and I don’t blame him. He is too frightened to speak his mind, but at least he is doing the right thing, even if he has to do it secretly.” those two statements say so much about religion and its practices. You say, he is doing the right thing but is he?? I mean really is he if he is still doing it secretly? Any God, would forgive you of your sins if you repent but is it really a sin to Love?? It is really sad that the elders would make you shun your family. However, they will let you back into the church if you repent.
http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/disfellowship-shunning.php
As a child I could see the religion to be bad. I refused to accept it and went as far as to have my grandmother take guardianship of me to get away from it. Don’t get me wrong though, I do very much so love my mother. However, it is her choice and not mine.
God is Love! The Bible says so. What part of DFing demonstrates love? I could never be part of a religion that tells me what I HAVE to do and if I don’t they bring out the weapons of intimidation. We come to God through learning, practice and understanding. My church is for guidance and fellowship on that journey, for love and faith and growing together. I am so sorry to hear these stories.
Rick, thank you a ton for posting this story and picture. It is a classic for showing how powerful a picture can be.
Richard, I have you to thank you also for providing this conduit! Thank you my friend! I hope you and family are doing great! Happy holidays!
Rick, thank you for sharing this very poignant moment–a snapshot of what it is like to be shunned. It’s important that the world can hear from all of us who are on the receiving end of this abusive behavior which is dictated by the Watch Tower Society, resulting in pain for family on both sides of the issue.
Thank you Steph! This practice needs to stop! Getting the word out will eventually spark the interest of many who probably never even realize such barbaric practices do exist!
Having been a Watchtower Witness for 49 years and an Elder for many years, I knew that this practice is evil. I actually knew 5 JWs who committed suicide. This cult is based on Freemasonry and expects the same kind of loyalty as the Masons and other cults such as the Nazi’s. My wife and I left in 2001 and became Born Again in 2002. We are now Missionaries for Jesus Christ in Cyprus. Bless you Rick and may you gain Peace from knowing that you now have freedom from this cult…David
Thank you David! That’s another thing the JW cult does not realize…. Freemasons! Many don’t even know what that is! Having a relationship with God has nothing to do with religion! But cults and organizations don’t want to loose their memebers for many reasons! One for sure is the financial support they provide! Shunning is not a human practice…. it is something that goes against what we feel inside for our loved ones and many like you said take their lives due to the emotional trauma it creates. People need to open their eyes and these practices need to stop!
I used to work two Mormons and a JW…the JW was a woman and she ended up divorced and with another man…her whole family shunned her…unfortunately she ultimately went back to their cult…and now her children are in it too. I havent been on the site for a while but I am registered with the JW recovery site…as I am with Recovery From Mormonism(RFM) site…so many sad stories from the former cult members…i also interact with a man who is going thru the JW program…I tried speaking to him about it…but it was alienating our relationship…so I stopped…everyone must travel their own road…I am glad you understand about your dad…he wont ever change i am sure…but maybe use this as a learning tool for your own family. I wish you the best in this journey called life…it sounds like you and your family should be fine…now! 🙂
I was a JW for 20 or more years, my mum & stepdad were baptized in 1973, my mum was & still is very dominant, I was always afraid of doing something wrong, I didn’t want to hurt my mum, so I went along with the JW religion, as a young adult, 18yrs, I wanted to leave home, and experience sex, so I had to get married, my mum would only approve if the man was baptized, so I married a man who had been born into the JW cult, he got baptized so we could be married, I did not love him, but married him anyway, 3 months into the marriage, he became violent, he continued to be physically violent, I never told anyone, I was ashamed. One time a had a black eye from him slamming 2 hot dinner plates across my head. Most people were surprised that he was violent, but no one gave me any support, just left me to deal with it, we had 4 children, he was not a good father, he wanted the 4 kids to be quiet, he had a very short fuse. When the kids were young, and we sat in the meetings listening to bible lectures, if the boys made a noise, their dad would slap them on the legs really hard, they would be in tears, so I had to take them outside & comfort them, we used to fight about the kids a lot. Discipline was so inconsistent. We had been together 12 yrs, & he got angry with the kids, he threw one of our sons down the stairs, & lifted him up by the neck, & slammed him against the door. Another time he threw a china bowl and it hit my son on his ankle, he had a deep cut to the ankle, the scar is still there today. I told the elders that I was going to leave my husband, and why, and they said, you have to stay with him. I told my husband that I wanted to go to Vic, to visit my parents, that was the only way he would let me go, I left & never went back. I was by myself for 4 and a half yrs. A lot of JWs shunned me for leaving. I used to come home from the meetings in tears, Then I met a man who was not a JW, and we began a relationship, I went and told the elders, they said you can leave him & come back, and I told them I would not leave him, so I was disfellowshiped. The elders came to see me at my house, the day before my divorce. they had bible in hand, and showed me some verses re marriage, I was very angry, as I was a mature adult and they were telling me that I had no grounds for divorce, and that I could not remarry if I got divorced, How dare they try to tell me what to do. I told them to take their bibles and get out, The day before they announced to the congregation that I was being disfellowshiped, I went to see my parents, to tell them, and my mum said to me “In my eyes, you are already dead.” how devastating to say that to your own daughter, my dad just hugged me and said he just wants me to happy. I have a good relationship with my dad, but I am distant with my mum. I have many many more unpleasant experiences to share, but I be will writing a book.
Hi Linda,
Thank you for sharing such a sad story but I do hope you’re in a better place in life and somehow you and your kids can put it all behind and live a quality life away from this destructive cult. I really hope the world sees what’s going on with such cultures and how much mental and physical damage they’re causing to millions of people. Many live hidden lives in fear of what others will do or how they will be shunned by family and friends they love. Very few have the courage to come out and face the reality of this cult but the more people like yourself that come out and show the world what really is going on with such religions the better it will be for others that are suffering going to similar situations as yours and mine. My heart goes out to you and I realky hope you write that book… count me in as one who will buy and read it! Take care!
I have been a Mason for a while and I do not see how this cult could be based on Freemasonry. Before I made a conscious choice to become a Mason I shared the same idea’s many do. They are a secretive body whom ‘controls’ and ‘manipulates’ certain area’s of life. I loved conspiracy theories. But being a Mason now for quite a while I do not see how you could compare it to a cult. Is a Mason chooses to not be a Mason anymore all they have to do is not pay their dues. There is no shunning, no one intimidates people to stay. One thing that has been instilled in me through Masonry is be a good citizen, a good friend to all, and a good person. Every year we get donations and sell good meat for a discounted price and all the funds raised we use to feed hundreds of under privileged families during Thanksgiving and Christmas. What made me decide to be a Mason was that I had heard that a woman who had recently lost her husband and was supporting a child could not pay her bills. They were threatening to turn off her electricity. The lodge had got news of this and paid her bills until she could get a job and get back on her feet, keeping her electricity on and food on her table. It made me realize that this isn’t a cult it is a group of people wanting to help others. Albeit these decisions are all done privately through old practices but it irks me to read about a cult and then seeing it compared to Freemasonry or the Nazi’s. I appreciate your comment and hope you have a great day.
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Are the Freemasons a religious group? In that case, christian? Or is it just a group where the members share friendship ang trust?
i think Ex JW’s like to bring this up because any other organization is viewed as evil by the JW’s and its funny cause JW’s was founded by a Mason whom practiced Enochian Magic… it juts shows the hypocrisy.
so you went from one cult to another? please enlighten me on why? not trying to be rude.
May God bless you and your family Rick. I too am a Born Again Christian. May you finally find peace in God’s true love and grace. And learn the difference. It is difficult, the fear is there. But know our true God would never ever condone such practices that the jw’s practice. They are NOT the “thruth” they are the ones who pose in sheep’s clothing we are to be aware of. God will take care of these people in his time. They practice in stilling fear at the end of days for the non believers. Lord help these people and show them mercy, for they speak of themselves without knowing. They are ignorant. At Jesus once stated. Forgive them for they know not what they do. Agape
what in Gods name has freemasonry got to do with JW’s why does it happen that every time cult and nutty religious organisations are mentioned they bring freemasons into disrepute we don’t shun people or refuse to allow blood transfusions or any other witless nonsensical thing you can think of, we just donate millions of our own money to charity no pressure applied.
Rusty, Because of all these mentions I’ve tried to research freemasonry (I at first think of bricklayers!) and it seems to be a group, with a few secret handshakes and rituals to make it more fun. And they try to do good works. I’m sure some people have had hurt feelings from this group, like any other group has. Do people just like conspiracy theories? Sometimes the real truth is less mysterious.
Rick. This is exactly what my family is facing at this very moment. We also have a four year old son and other children as well. It has absolutely devastated and destroyed the life of my husbands and my family. It is incomprehensible that this is being done in 2013. It has to stop.
My heart goes out to you and family! Keep a positive view in life and make the best of your family (husband and children), keep moving forward and enjoy every second you spend with them!
Isn’t religion grand?
I would have shunned the lunch and simply left for a nearby restaurant.
lol But so true!
Your poor Dad and family. I know of nowhere in the Bible that this practice is taught or preached. Jesus ate and drank with all sorts of folk. It was one of the many accusations that the Jewish authorities made about him. But I guess what Jesus taught and modelled doesn’t mean much to JW’s.
You took the words right out of my mouth!
Exactly, and God and Jesus are not about guilt. They are about grace, mercy, forgiveness and love.
Rick, When I saw the pic and began to read the article. I had to stop and gather myself because the horror of it all was too much. I saw your father’s back, but never doubt that his heart is with you. He loves both you and your son, and whatever you do, never stop loving him. Don’t allow the evil of that body of Gangsters to overcome the Good. Your father is suffering in ways that you cannot imagine! His wife has died, and now those Monsters want to put you to death as well. He’s struggling and holding on the best way he knows for right now. If you are a praying person, if you choose to believe in God, beg him to help your father. Right now he is “blind”, but do not give up hope that one day soon, he will “see.” Really, by his words and actions, he is showing that he has a level of “consciousness.” You may see his back, but I see his heart. Whatever you do, don’t let go of your father. Be resolute! Don’t let them win! Conquer the evil with the good!
What Pia said Rick! Everything that Pia said here!!
Thank you very much, Rick, for sharing your story. The picture is truly profound and tells quite the story about the shunning policies and practices of the organization. It is a great shame your son has to experience this. Please stay strong; we’re all in this together.
I’d like to say thank you to Andrew as well for posting his comment. There are definitely some Witnesses out there who know for a certainty that this policy of shunning is paradoxical to the law of love, mercy, and compassion–the cornerstone of the Christian religion. They most certainly know it doesn’t seem or feel right. It didn’t to me.
I am one who never tried to be mean or rude. Always nodded and smiled, sometimes said “Hi”. I recently told a friend that I wasn’t shunning her daughter, I said “I hope you don’t mind.” She said she didn’t mind.
Thank you for posting this personal story. Yes it is absurd and tragic. I am sorry for your father’s indoctrination in this lie. Blessings.
It never ceases to amaze me how people develop this notion that ‘elders’ or ‘Popes’ or ‘priests’ have this special unquestionable authority to make these decisions for others. Even when I went to church, I never thought the priest was automatically right or had an inviolable pipeline to Truth. I certainly don’t now either – they are just human beings, no better than anyone else, and in some cases considerably worse because they have hardened their hearts to logic, and to every day life in the case of Catholic priests.
Thanks for sharing your story, Rick, my heart goes out to you and your dad. With them ‘allowing’ him to associate with you and your son, it would be nice if you could share a little nibble of ‘the truth about the truth’ with him, perhaps reaching through that programming to reveal what real love is. Hugs to your family.
Thank you Isabella. I was able to share some facts about the Watchtower Organization with my dad that very same day before he served my lunch. He didn’t ask me to stop talking about it so I went on for about 30 min. I’m hopeful that something registered.
What exactly is this ‘shunning?’ It sounds horrible but I’d like more of an understanding of how this shunning works and what their justification is for having people eat like this.
Shunning is the act of cutting off contact with people. To the point of pretending they are not there, or even live. This is actually a fairly common practice in religious groups, whether it is sanctioned, or just incidental. If your truly a counselor, then this is something, I would wager you’ll encounter in your career.
It’s when a individual, family, or community intentionally doesn’t pay attention to you. They are trying to make you feel inferior, and less important. In this case the son is supposed to feel ‘less important’ because he doesn’t follow his dad’s religious training. In societies where children have no ability to pack up and leave, this is very effective mind control. But today, when you can get a job in another state or something like that… it is hilariously medieval stupid. They might as well just repeat everything you say until you leave out of irritation. All it does is tear an individual family apart. It is clearly a tactic who’s time has passed. It is one more small reason religion is becoming a thing of the past for more and more people. It simply isn’t required, nor effective in a educated mobile society.
Cults use this practice as a means of control. They tell their memebers they must stay away from those that leave the cult or speak against their false doctrines in order to keep their memebers in the dark. Once you discover the truth about them they cut you off in fear that you will take others with you, so in order to keep control they threaten their memebers of excommunicating them or shunning them if they associate with ex-members. They control what conversations they can and can not have with family memebers that leave and usually only the close relatives like in my case, my dad, are allowed to talk to ex-members but not about religion and they’re also not allowed to have to much association with them all for the same fear.
My dad making lunch for me is probably going a little to far for them…. I know he’s afraid and doesn’t want to be shunned or excommunicated either, he will loose friends and family and at his age, that will be devastating in a more severe way. He also mentioned to me a few months back that after he dies no one else will care for me, no other JW family memebers will want anything to do with me. He gets away with a little more because he’s my dad but still lives in fear of what the organization can do to him if they feel he’s crossing the line. It all comes doing to them being another mind control cult and high control group with over 7 million memebers throughout the world and the majority of them not even aware of what would happen to them if they didn’t agree with the organization doctrines. For many is simply too late like in the case if my dad…. he has to much to loose, I have uncles, aunts and many other relatives that live in the same fear. One elder uncle if mine once told my mom while she was still alive that maybe ” I was right” about the organization but felt they should leave things to God .
They are in the mess they’re in because they are not allow to research and think for themselves! They can not go outside the Watchtower Walls! If they do they run the risk of loosing everything that really matters in life…… family and friends!
Once I had told my family that I no longer wanted to be a JW, they immediately started shunning me although I still was in High School and lived at home. No one in my house was allowed to speak to me, and if my little sister spoke to me, she got spanked. 29 years now, and their shunning is still going strong. Jehovah’s Witnesses are a disgusting cult that rob people of their critical thinking skills and their family if they don’t agree.
Counselorchick this is the scripture they base the shunning on mainly; http://biblehub.com/1_corinthians/5-11.htm New International Version: “But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.”
That’s not from their bible but there are several different versions of that scripture in that link.
Wow, Rick. That single photo is going to help a lot of people! We are FLOODING the world with our message of warning. And photos and articles like this are so important. Thank you so much!
the watchtower will never and has never been “Christian” they follow doctrine that’s not in the Word of God. Its sad that every 2de group an clam to be Christian then follow man made believes.
Sadly, the Watchtower is just as persistent now as it has ever been. I live 3 miles from the main compound in New York and the secrecy and brainwashing of it all is astounding. Luckily, I let my Rottweiler answer the door the last time they came knocking and they’ve never come back. I’m so sorry for what this cult in the guise of religion is doing to your family and I wish there was a way to get your father away from them. Though I don’t attend any church, I was raised Roman Catholic. If I thought it would make the smallest difference I would start going and invite your dad to go with me. An hour on Sunday is an easy trade to mend a family. I hope that logic, and love, prevails for you.
In the right country you might be able to have the Watch Tower fools charged with hate crimes, and maybe a civil suit.
This ‘tactic’ was clearly designed to work in a age when people stayed ‘on the farm’ and were basically required to live in the same community for life. Now days it’s easy to get a job out of town, across the state, or farther away, and it makes literally no sense. It’s has no power over the individual and is merely a wedge against common sense. I work with plenty of folks who have moved with our company, like myself, and they see their parents and siblings maybe 3 times a decade. Shunning in that sort of society clearly won’t work.
I am in a similar situation, except my father won’t visit with me at all to the point of asking me to drop my son off. I have made that clear several times, you can’t split up family and choose one over the other. He got around this when I dropped my son off to visit my mother, she let my sister take him to see my father. I tried to not say anything to keep the peace, but when my son came home crying because he wanted to go halloween and was told it was bad, I blew up. Now neither of my parents are allowed to have unsupervised visits with my son.
Same. my sister (never baptised) has taken my kids to visit my family without me. It [expletive] up my head but don’t want to let them know I hurt or they’ve won.
When the J-dubs have darkened my doorstep waking me early on a Saturday morning after a long Friday night of clubbing.. I listened to their Spiel.
I asked the following questions:
“So you guys believe in Family Values and Unconditional Love right?”
Of Course, emphatically they said yes.
I then said “So how can you say that when and if someone has sinned in your congregation or family, you are to shun them, not even break bread with them. How is that loving? If you truly believe they have sinned wouldn’t that mean they need more support and love than the abandonment by their entire community and family?”
They flipped through a lot of books and never found an answer for me.Asked me where I studied theology. *sigh.
I know it hurts but at least one good thing is that hopefully you’ll never lose your son to the JW’s. As he sees the craziness of it all and as you explain to him what’s going on and what he stands to lose if he ever joins them you just may “save” him. I’m in your same situation and have to say I look at it positively that I’m breaking the cycle and my daughter will never have to endure sleepless nights worried about when the end may come and if she’ll be tarred and feathered or put in a concentration camp because of her stand for “god”. The freedom of not having to judge every person you meet or to be afraid to hang out with certain people…the list goes on and on. Stay strong and start a new life, new traditions that your son will cherish with his family one day.
You are not alone. I withdrew from that cult and my dad and mom stopped speaking to me. I was working 3 jobs and putting myself thru college and they were giving all their money to the society. I wish I could have my parents back. I miss them. I am so puzzled how the smart young couple that used to be my parents got replaced by a pair of brainwashed devotees.
I was raised Morman , I know how outlandish some peoples views can be . I woke up and saw that Mormans lie just like the rest of them .. I have my beliefs in god but I don’t believe in organized religion . I see it for what it truly is .. A business !
I hope you can one day open your dads eyes to the truth .. good luck friend !!
when you say “watchtower ” are you referring to Jehovah witness or is that another religion ?
Jehovah’s witness
The Watchtower Society is another term for Jehovah’s Witness organization.
“Watchtower Society” is another term for the Jehovah’s Witness organization.
Another reason I can say with all I have learned and been taught, I have never met a Christian.
Why am I not at all surprised that your religion imposes such abhorrent strictures upon the naturally occurring cohesive familial bonds?
I used to think that the effort of the spiritual search was aimed at the attainment of love, of empathy of nurturing. Many years of experience with a multitude of faiths have disabused me of such naive notions.
It seems to me now that the purpose of any religion is quite simply that of its self-perpetuation whatever the human cost may be. This case involving the violent truncation of your familial unit is an indictment of narrow and fundamentalist nature of the JW ruling body.
I am both saddened and appalled.
I wish you all the love and peace I can wish you.
John, aetheist.
This is sad. Thank you for your story. However, keep in mind your father is an adult with the right to choose. Since he chooses this, you can only love him through his choice.
And yes, the jw’s are biblically illiterate and foolish.
Well I’m hoping others see that this has very little to do with my dad but everything to do with the organization, the driving force behind all these inhumane practices, my dad is following orders given by men. They have policies and rules which they impose on their followers with threats of excommunication to those that break those rules. This is causing family divisions, mental health issues to the point of suicide among other problems in today’s world.
My brother was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia in December 1985. He refused plasma, bone marrow and all other “blood products” because he was a ‘faithful witness’. (Like the man in the story, he was obeying the rules of the organization).
He died in February 1986 at age twenty seven. He had a wife and two small kids.
A few months later, the Watchtower organization changed their position about accepting blood and decided that it is a “conscious decision” between a person and God. I wonder how many other people died before the Watchtower organization received their arbitrary “new light” about the blood issue.
Totally, draconian! I hope your message gets through to these militant idiots.
All I can say is “wow!” I didn’t know the JWs practice shunning. What’s the purpose of that? If the Son has set you free you are free indeed! I’m glad you and your son are no longer involved but I really feel bad about the rest of your family because Jesus is the ONLY way.
The Watchtower knows exactly what its doing. It’s punishing you for rejecting them. Your poor, poor family. I’d take that picture to the local newspaper and start some kind of thread there. ??
I knew a girl who was a JW in HS(this was 25-30 yrs ago)….she was married right after she graduated…how ever the groom was NOT JW. Her family threw her a bridal shower & wedding but after the wedding she was shunned. After her father died her mother & one of her sisters (she had 2 sisters & 2 brothers) was willing 2 talk 2 her. The rest have continued 2 shun her. How sad.
being a former member myself… it’s not sinning that gets you shunned, or the sin itself! It’s the unrepentance of that sin.
I strongly believe in freedom of religion, though I abhor evangelism and idolatry of Jesus. I see something wrong with your wish to defame the Jehovah’s Witness religion, especially since it is your father’s chosen faith. I don’t see any pain or abuse in the man sitting alone – if you want to think there is something bad about that, or harmful to your child, the problem is with yourself. You shouldn’t make it harmful to your child by saying your dad is not smart enough or free enough to make his own religious choices. You don’t like that religion? Then don’t embrace it, and don’t expect others to embrace your own personal beliefs.
Bela… the whole problem with choice in this religion is there is very little of it – it suddenly becomes withdrawn from you as soon as you get baptised. You can choose to become a JW but as soon as you realise you no longer can follow it’s beliefs and want to leave you are doomed! If you profess to follow another set of tenets (denouncing your former JW beliefs) you will be disfellowshipped. You can choose to leave (disassociating) but that very act is classed, by way of censure, the same as being disfellowshipped. If a child gets baptised at an early age – probably before it has fully developed it’s reasoning faculties – then decides JWs are not for him, he will probably end up disfellowshipped and be shunned by all and sundry. I fail to see how this even becomes to get close to any form of Christianity I know.
Hello Bela,
Shunning is more severe than many think, my dad is the only relative that still talks to me because the elders of the congregation allowed him to. Other relatives have decided to completely cut me off their lives because I don’t believe in what their organization teaches about worshipping God through them. The minute you do that in the JW organization the memebers are told to stay away from that person and are not allowed to even say hello to them, there’re some exceptions to the rule such as my dad because of his circumstances and age, but still he had to ask permission.
I have not closed the doors to anyone in my family but they have close their doors to me so at one point in life my child will wonder why none of his uncles, cousins, aunts, and others in the family are around for anything in our lives. He will wonder why there’s division in our family and why even grandma from my wife’s side doesn’t talk to us anymore or comes to visit him anymore. The problem is mostly psychological and it can cause great destruction in today’s society. I would never belittle anyone following a religion or mock their faith, we are all entitled to that freedom, the freedom to chose our faith or none. I love my dad dearly, this is not about him, this is about the driving force behind such behaviours. There’s a lot of pain and suffering in all of this, not just for those in the receiving end but for those that are involved with such cults.
You don’t see any pain or abuse in an 80 year old widower sitting alone in a corner to eat? You see no pain in a grown man crying as he drives away? I think that just about sums it up.
“After I spoke my piece”
Hey dixie…. way to miss the point. Its not the sinning that we are worried about. Its the idiotic shunning policy that is wrong. If shunning isnt sinning against humanity I dont know what is. Let me guess, its up to me whether or not I can have my still in dub family talk to me or not. All I have to do is come back to the fold and the love will again be unconditional, right?
Not to justify the behaviour, as a Christian, i think it was wrong, however, I love the way the word “religion” is used so often in popular culture so as to encourage people to label all faiths under one group thus encouraging the growth of Atheism. That is what this post is really about… I can see right through the bull…
The sooner the scourge of religion is wiped out globally and replaced with humanists, the better a place the world will be.
Thank you for posting Rick …People have come to grips with the hard, cold facts that The Watchtower Organization is a Destructive Cult , and is deliberately breaking up families.
TROUBLED, CONFUSED, SHUNNED, ABUSED ….
THE SIX SCREENS JW HOT LINE IS BEING ACTIVATED WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER, 6, 2013.
Recent activity in the Jehovah’s Witness Religion including Major Doctrinal Changes, New Policies and Stricter Rules regarding Apostates (Witnesses who have left The Watchtower),
Extreme Ostracism in Watchtower Publications condemning Apostates and denouncing them as “Mentally Diseased” is causing
undue Emotional Strain and is becoming Hurtful and Burdensome.
Large Numbers of JW’s are currently reading in major News Papers and Online, hearing on Radio and seeing on Television the Massive Cover Ups of Child Molesters in The Watchtower Organization.
Confused, Troubled, Abused, Shocked Witnesses who want to Talk Anonymously and Privately to Someone about their Concerns can Call Six Screens Chicago Associate, Former JW Susan.
The Inner workings and Unusual Nature, inherent in The Watchtower Organization of being able to speak up to fellow Witnesses about one’s critical concerns is Taboo and would result in Disciplinary Action.
The Six Screens Hot Line Associates are not Certified Therapist, however they are Knowledgeable Former Jehovah’s Witnesses that have researched the inner workings of the Organization and are here to Help You with Your Concerns. If further help is needed, they can direct you to Additional Sources.
I know of a story of a JW family where the child needed a blood transfusion, it was many years ago. The young parents couldn’t bear the thought of losing their child so they went against the JW religion and got it done. The grandparents disowned them. The child died a few years later and the grandparents refused to go to the funeral. My husband’s father is in this cult, and that is what it is..a cult. They brain wash you into believing they are the true religion. These people constantly come to our door trying to reform my husband into coming back to the “faith” they are relentless. I do not blame them, they are weak minded and afraid. I am saddened at the fact that a so called organization of God can separate families at will..that will never be my God.
So, so sad. Brainwashing at its worst. To turn family against family – not on!
Wow, unbelievable that people would behave like this in our society today. My boyfriend was a JW and has been excommunicated for the past 7 years. He is not 40. Born and raised in the religion. He and his sister both, leaving one brother and Mom and Dad in the immediate family. There has been deep, psychological damage that will take years of counseling for either of them to get through their neglect and hurt. Deep work for both of them to process. They were brought up to believe that “worldly people” were less than them and taught not to communicate or engage with worldly people. They were manipulated with food, attention, simple, basic things in life. They couldn’t celebrate any Holidays or Birthdays, always feeling left out. They were told if they left the religion that they would die. Most who do leave the religion, struggle with addictions and finding balance in life. They have to start over, many of them having no family to help. They feel less than and struggle with self worth and therefore, the addictions numb their fears but ultimately the lack of self worth continues to weigh on their deepest fears and they often sink deeper with depression and despair. So, of course it is hard to to make it, after you leave and many of them do not make the best choices after they leave the religion. The fortunate ones have found support to help balance them and help them find a balanced life. There are counselors out there that specialize in helping X-Jahovah Witnesses and there are support groups now. I live in a small town that has a sizable community of JW’s and see people that I used to know, that are JW’s (before I really knew what that organization was all about) before I dated my guy. In the past 5 years, since dating my guy, they won’t wave at me while he is with me. I get shunned also.
Every single cult out there has one thing in common – they try to separate their members from those who disagree. They don’t want them to think.
I’m sorry that you have to deal with this and are unable to have a normal, loving relationship with your Dad. Sadly, all these energy he is spending appeasing the mother-hive and hurting you will be for naught as once he’s dead, he’s dead and none of it will matter.
Try to keep your child away from as much of this as possible. I don’t think I’d have more lunches. Good luck.
I became a Witnesss in my early 20’s. It was very hard, I finally left after a few years. Some of my friends had taken me to see Bethel and we were able to see a couple of the offices of governing body members. They were decked out pretty well. I was shocked because of all the preaching about living modestly and not copying “Christendom”. Also, the circuit overseer used to park his new, very expensive car under the car port at the assembly hall. A few of the brothers had to stay out there all day to keep their eyes on it and to wipe it down in case it got dust or rain on it. The “overseer doesn’t like to see dust or rain residue on his car while he’s driving”. The leaders of that organization need to be questioned and brought down a few pegs. They got too drunk on their power. It’s not wrong to question those men, they are not gods and they are not infallible.
I hope your father finds his way back to you. The hold that organization has on people is very strong.
Abusive practices continue for as long as people support them. It’s hard for a senior to change what he has known for his whole life, but he’s still making the CHOICE to accept (and therefore support) this kind of abuse. It’s really sad that he can’t see that he’s being used for political and financial gain of an organization.
I still deal with being shunned by my stepmother, who was always like a real second mother to me. My dad also shunned me for years, until one day he finally opened his eyes to such hurtful practices. However, my stepmother is of the strictest witnesses, and she struggles with shunning me. One visit she will visit and eat with us. The next, I’m lucky if she’ll stay in the same room. It is terribly hurtful and confusing. When I was a witness, it felt wrong to shun. When something feels wrong, it often is. I wish all of you the best in dealing with being shunned. And the picture of your father does say it all. Maybe some day he can look at it and see it for what it truly is; a hideous, unchristain act provoked by a misguided, controlling organization.
My beautiful Mother died because she was an obediant follower of the Governing Body and their ever changing doctrine. I have so much Anger inside of me. I have to Pray to The Almighty Father through his Son Jesus ( the One and Only Channnel and provision from God )to remove any hate and anger I have for this False Man Made religion !
I guess I was lucky! My mom was a JW and did not do this to our family. However, they (JW) did convince her to somehow sign over her house to them in her will. Just before she passed she had a hand written will made while she lay in her hospital bed and changed it. Giving the house to my sister. After her passing, the JW were very angry at the fact that they would not be inheriting the house. And were enraged at the fact that they had to give her a funeral service with only a handful in attendance (very sad) since the congregation was over 500 and everyone of them knew her. I would advice to check to see if they (JW) have done the same to your father. Not to mention a few other disturbing views my mother inherited while in their grasps of unreality. I feel for you and know what you are going thru!! Hang in there. Just before mom passed we got to make peace with each other on our terms!!!
My father, without even talking to my mother first, decided to switch from Presbyterian, the religion they were married in, to JW. I spent the first 16 years of my life that way, and finally, I broke free, along with my mother and three out of my four siblings. Only my father and oldest brother remain JW. I will always remember when I was in first grade, my father and some JW members, were following another member, to get evidence to disfellowship her. They were laughing and carrying on like it was some sort of game. They eventually disfellowshipped her, and I was told I was no longer allowed to associate with my best friend, the woman’s daughter, anymore. We were both in first grade, the best of friends, who had played together since we were very little, and then were pulled apart, no longer able to even say hi to one another in school or on the street, etc. What did we do wrong? NOTHING – we were victims of the JW’s horrible practices. My father even went so far as to tell our congregation not to associate with one of my brother’s, because he was a bad influence, because my brother questioned some of the JW policies.
Years later, l was planning my wedding. I couldn’t wait to have my dad walk me down the aisle. But, my girlish dream was shattered when my dad told me he couldn’t walk me down the aisle, unless I were to get married in the Kingdom Hall (thus being married JW), which was not going to happen. So, my mother walked me down the aisle instead, which was very special, since she and I are so close. To add insult to injury, my brother (who lives out of state)had been disfellowshipped from the JW’s just before my wedding. Try figuring out how and where to seat your family members at your reception when your father and brother are not allowed to associate with each other. Thankfully, my father received special ‘permission’ from the elders to sit at the same table with him, and they were allowed to make small talk, but no mention of religion, etc. It was tense and awkward, but we made it thru.
What irks me is that most of them think they are so superior and blame us ‘worldly people’ for their mistakes and transgressions. But when they do get held accountable for their actions, they are then shunned and treated like an outcast, until the elders decide to reinstate them, or for the rest of their lives if they are not reinstated. It breaks apart families and friendships, etc.
I feel for you and what you’re going thru.
Just goes to show how ridiculous ALL religion is!! Mythology!!!
Tragic. After years of serving as an elder and even teaching at KM School, I’m deeply ashamed to see stories like yours. Jehovah’s Witnesses are deeply sick people; completely warped by an organization the vast majority of them know nothing about. I’m so sorry for the pain you have experienced.
Hello Darrin, my sentiments exactly, stories like mine are very common in nowadays with thousands of people leaving the religion and having to face reality. The organization keeps threatening the members and people in the organization, they live scared lives afraid of getting disfellowshiped and getting shunned themselves for associating with people that have left the religion and know the real truth about them. I have a strong feeling that the majority of those that have doubts and questions stay quiet and just follow along so they don’t go through the shunning process, many rather live double lives or secret lives knowing the organization is simply a man made organization with their own rules and policies.
I’m certain that if they sat down and analyzed the hard evidence they will see for themselves how twisted the organization really is. Problem with that is that the Watchtower keeps telling them in the big conventions and through their publications that those that leave the organization and don’t agree with them are “mentally deceased and sit at the table with demons”. Imagine telling an 80 year old like my father something like that! They’re horrified! “Armageddon is around the corner and Satan is doing everything possible to take them out of the organization”….. I have heard this this all my life, it traumatized me growing up and kept me afraid and from using logical thinking! All my JW family feels the same, indoctrination in the JW religion is not something to be taking lightly and deprogramming is not an easy process. It is almost as if they were hypnotized and nothing gets through them unless they dare to start thinking for themselves!
My wife and I have been shunned by our families and best of friends, even by people that really don’t care much about the organization but because their relatives and friends have warned them about me….. they stay away and shun us to please others and because they feel a certain level of fear in them. The organization often uses scare tactics like “Satan and demons” and being attacked by them. People are simply afraid and don’t know what to believe. It takes a little courage and a little logical thinking to snap out of the Watchtower hypnosis!
Thank you Darrin for sharing your thoughts!
Thanks for speaking out. Someone in my family is in this situation. She even signed over power of attorney over her medical and financial situation. God said in the bible to love everyone and to forgive…not shun.
Rick I’m also From Cuba ,also Came in Mariel But June 3 1980 I am a witness and Have
been all my life, I am ashamed of all I learned during the last 2 years about this evil organization
Hi Bob, is very unfortunate that our families had to go through what they went through in Cuba thinking they were doing all they did for God. All it takes is for something to spark the mind and make you think a little about what really is going on with this organization. I’m all for people believing in whatever it is they want to believe but when your beliefs include doing despicable things to fellow humans and even worse, family, then those beliefs become a real problem to many around the world.
There’s many that leave the organization and don’t know how to function as a “normal” human being! They been taught all their lives that the organization does the thinking for them. Then to add insult to injury they shun you, they shun their own blood! Their own kids, grand kids, grandparents, etc.
That practice alone is beyond human and the number one reason in my opinion is because the organization is really afraid of others finding out the real “truth” about them! My only regret is not leaving earlier but I’m happy, very happy!
Take good care my friend!
I am a former JW, 1970-75, and worked at their world HQ in Brooklyn Heights. It was hard getting out, because all one’s friends are in the sect. In fairness, however, it was not all bad. I stayed away through them and their teachings from drugs, cigarettes, and pot, I never got VD, and I learned many good values.
And I have met liberals also who shun those who are political incorrect in their eyes, and I have met Born Again Christians also who are extremely intolerant. And many religions cover up sexual abuse, not just JWs.
I left them, so obviously I found them lacking, but they should not all be depicted as monsters either. One of the nicest, wisest women I ever met, Raye Autrey, was a JW and a “special pioneer” (a full-time preacher).
I met the president of the JWs, Nathan Knorr and th then VP, later the President, Fred Franz when I worked at their Bethel HQ, and I found them distant, and got the feeling there was somehow another agenda behind them….. They did not seem warm at all.
Shunning for wicked behavior is a normal thing, but shunning for having different views — no, that is indeed inhumane. My JW mother shunned me for the final 15 years of her life…..
The shunning of ex JWs isn’t love,its revenge.I know because I dissacociated myself and have no intention of going back.I’m settled on Buddhism now,I was searching for god for years and never found anything.I’m tired and getting to know myself and letting go of my anger is my goal.Shunning is a slow legal way to kill someone,It reduces your life span.I wish the US government could wake up and see that the Watchtower is abusing the law.
Joel, I like your comment about what shunning really is, “a slow legal way to kill someone”. Best definition so far! Some people actually end up dead because of it so it’s not so far from the truth. If it doesn’t kill you physically it surely does emotionally! I do feel bad for those in the cult or as Richard Kelly would put it…. “the Club”, they really have no clue as to what’s really going on and instead of hate, I decided to feel pity for them, now the men behind the organization, totally different story!
The French family ministry has an interesting categorization of sects and how dangerous they are. The Scientologists come out as the most dangerous and the JWs as slightly dangerous. …. They are certainly more than that.
http://www.hostingpicture.fr/upload/dae69f98f8608d06a3f7efde2a96155f.gif
Please protect your family against this secte WT.
“Awake” in French version 2011, april 15.
Rick, don’t fight with your father about what his religion tells him to do. He’s doing what he thinks is right. You can’t change his mind, so love him regardless. And make sure he Knows that you love him, He is old. There is no point in spending the next few years fighting. All too soon and he will be gone. Don’t let his imaginary best friend ruin your last few years with your dad.
Hi Mel, you’re absolutely right! I don’t argue with my dad about religion since that day. Like you said, he’s old and the years go by very fast, I do love him dearly regardless of what he feels about me or my decision to leave his religion.
You cannot fix something founded on quicksand and superstition . Predators come in every disguise but like vampires in mythical novels they too as bloodsuckers must be invited in . They are not saving the world they are just more human beings trapped in exploiting cults with middlemen, and middle women supposedly preaching their own memorized truths who are self hypnotized themselves to believe they are authorities leading others to truth by exploiting them, and riding on the backs of the poor, and other cultists who go along with the inventors of their cults who also invented from groundless superstitions they believed in that gave them superiority and status , but were factually just ,more fanatical fundamentalists teaching another false path to a religious life similar to themselves.
Ummm Pastor David Hall,
The Cult you are referring to that was based on Freemasonry are the Mormons, NOT the Jehovah Witness. It was Joseph Smith who created the Mormon “Endowment Ceremonies” based on the 3 symbolic Degrees of Freemasonry. (Please feel free to look up this information) oh, and btw… Hitler and the Nazi’s also persecuted Freemasons, just as the JW condemns Freemasonry (Also look that up)
You are correct however in stating that the JW IS a cult, just like all the other brainwashing religions in the world who use fear to instill dominance over it’s mindless minions in order to control the masses and exhort their monies from them, all in a pseudo God’s name. In reality, the governing boards of these religious cults are just lining their own pockets and creating fake positions for themselves to make themselves feel significant and powerful. (hmmm… kinda like ole Joe Smith)
Now honestly, I don’t care what religion anyone belongs to (if any) or what God you worship (like there is a difference.) but how can you say that you are “Born Again” and that you are a “Missionary for Christ” yet, you mindlessly follow the ignorant masses by casting stones at Freemasonry and group them in with both religious cults AND political regimes as the bases for their organizations?
As a Historian, I’m just sick of all you self righteous, bible thumpers who not only DON’T know history, but decide to use their asses as hat racks and speak from that part of the body. I got an idea… How about doing the research, become informed and educated, stop blindly following the false “Profits” (yes I spelled it correctly, it’s a play on words) and…
How about just congratulating Rick on a well written article and getting this information out to the public.
Si Signore,
I was not using my a** for a…well…, when a young friend of mine came to say good-bye; telling me she’d just gotten Dfed, and her DFed boyfriend commenced to telling me about how the JWs were from the Freemasons, I LISTENED. Said good-bye, and I still love you. Then, I looked up the Freemasons-who I really knew nothing about. And at the end of my research I still wasn’t too sure who the Freemasons were as in; why people were making a big deal about them being some kind of secret society. But I was pretty sure that Jehovah’s Witnesses were not related to them.
It is the Mormons who are linked to the masons. Their temple ritual was taken from the masons. Joseph Smith was a mason.
My friend is currently shunning her daughter. She is a baptized member, and is living unmarried with a man. It is my understanding that only the ones who are baptised are shunned. My friend never has contact with her daughter. My friend’s husband is an elder and he has contact with her at least by email and if she is in need of any help he sends her a check. They told me the shunning is to make her realize what she is missing so she will change her situation and return. She also said that the shunned people can go to their meetings but no one but an elder can speak to them. I am a former Mormon and after leaving I attended a Lutheran church but I am still looking into other churches. There are a few similarities between the Mormons and JWs in that they are encouraged to only associate with their own kind, knocking on doors and claiming to be the only true church. I have gone to their equivalent of a JW Easter service and it left me cold. I attended one of their Thursday night meetings and I didn’t like it much. I am afraid to belong to a group who claims to be the only ones with the truth. Something about that claim feels wrong to me.
Hi Robin! Don’t blame you for feeling the way you do! I couldn’t go from being a JW to being a member of another cult or man made organization that follows men and man made rules/policies. We should be free to worship (or not) God in anyway we feel right! No man or group of men should dictate how we do that!
I left the org several years ago and my bro was recently disfellowshipped. The only ones in my family (all witnesses) who won’t have contact are my aunt and uncle. The rest do, but I know of many whos families don’t break the rules as mine does. I’m a lucky one even though my whole life was messed up by that religion.
I urge all who agree with how bad this policy is to please vote in the following petition, maybe one day we enough votes, the Department of Justice will look into it: http://www.change.org/petitions/launch-an-investigation-on-jehovah-s-witnesses-religious-policy-that-violates-human-rights-and-abuses-religious-freedom?utm_campaign=new_signature&utm_medium=email&utm_source=signature_receipt#share
10 years ago a mutual decision was made to end our marriage, which had not been working for some years. Our kids were then aged 11 and 15. At the time our whole family were JW although I was no longer practising, just going to a few meetings with the family. The kids have now left the church and their dad is still happily involved.
We made a promise to the children when we split up – which was “We are a family and nobody will ever be allowed to interfere with that”. I’ve since been disfellowshipped (even though I wasn’t a witness by then). The elders told my ex that he would need to “curtail his and the children’s association” with me, to which he repeated the promise we had made and told them nobody was going to make him break that promise. Even my own father tried to turn my children against me, the reaction he got was that they both cut all contact with HIM.
My now-adult children, along with their father and I, comfortably spend time together for family events. We recently spent a harmonious day at the wedding of our daughter, even her father’s JW girlfriend was at the wedding and totally part of the event.
I believe my children’s father to be one of the few true Christians within the JW church and I’m grateful on behalf of my children, to have him still there in their lives, and not forcing them to choose between him and I.
Sara, I’m so glad you shared this here! It is a very positive story, as well as instructional. Would it be alright for me to use your account to inform and encourage others? I believe this is the kind of practical help we all can use.
Hi Rebar,
I’m very glad to share our story. Shortly after we parted company, I mentioned to my then-husband that I’d been reading a lot about how best to handle family separation and everything seemed to be about managing conflict after a breakup. Obviously we had issues that led to our decision to split, however once the decision to set each other free was made, we had peace not conflict, and I commented to him that there didn’t seem to be any precedents for mutually agreed separation. His comment was “Well, when things come up and I’m not sure what to do, I try to always look for the kind thing to do”.
And yes,we are both still proud of the family we have today.
What a lovely thing to read as a former jw myself this makes me so happy as my mother is a jw and my dad is not they have been happily married for 40, years my mother always puts her family beforethe religion
So sorry to hear about your experiences. Shunning is nothing more than a weapon designed to destroy what it cannot control. I know what it is like to be targeted. After the suicide of my husband I lost all faith in Jehovah. To me he did not exist if he could stand by and allow such things to happen. Perhaps I needed time. But I will never know. In the aftermath my children and I were relentlessly hounded by the elders and the congregation. In the end I left. You can read my story in a book entitled Not Your Legacy. I sincerely hope you find peace if not reconciliation. Be strong. Endure. Thrive. And you will turn their ‘weapon’ to dust.
Samantha J Wright
Shunning didn’t start with religions; some of them just adopted the practice. I was told it was an act of kindness, even by previously disfellowshipped people, which was very confusing to me, but I figured they would know right? “Mobbed! A Survival Guide To Adult Bullying and Mobbing” by Janice Harper is a wonderful short e-book I just finished reading, is a great book about this human behavior, with great source material.
This completely boggels my mind I was raised as a witness however I am not one now I chose a different path my mother and sister are however and I’ve never heard of this I became a young mum out of wedlock and was never shunned that was 13 years ago and everyone in the congregation still stop and speak with me even the elders I can’t get imagine this and I come from a very small town in Ireland my mother would have never stood for anyone telling her to shun her daughter that is not what the bible teaches my heart goes out to this family but Iewould like to say please remember their are bad people in the world it does not make the teachings of the bible rong like I said I’m not a witness anymore but I believe in Jehovah and the teachings he and only he no’s what is in someones heart
hi
my name is bill swift, I just got this email. I would like to make several comments about this. yes the picture is disturbing, I too am in a similar situation. I am baptized and my whole family was raised a JW. my wife was not a JW when I married her. but after 20 years of going to the meetings she too believes what the governing body says. I defended the WT from 40 years ago when I learned about the Bible (truth) cause I have never seen any other religion like them.
as a group they to me have more love than I ever seen, they preach like no other they also know their Bible like no other. but that being said since 911 when started investigating much too my surprise I saw discrepancies. I know they are not perfect. but I believed the truth will Always stand on itself. I try to explain to my family the problems that exist. they too believe that the organization is chosen by Christ. know matter the history and the many errors they refuse to listen. as you stated earlier they believe turning against the organization is turning against Jehovah. when I have bible study they don’t understand scripture after over 25 years of meeting attendance. be patient, if you trust Jehovah He will not leave you. throughout history their are plenty of stories of betrayal and pain. all you can do is pursue peace. return evil to know one. don’t be afraid to speak the truth. either it will stand or fall. you NEVER want to fight against what Jehovah has allowed. your father if he is truly interested in the truth he will see it. if shunning the way it is presented is true than you cant blame him.
but for questioning the GB is ludicrist. the truth book said we should fear such an examination. the Boereans did not fear. remember all scripture is for reproof and setting things straight. I say what SIN have I committed for asking questions that I should be treated in the same way as a fornicator and the like?
imagine how Jesus felt when his own people betrayed him. you have to understand as an organization that influences many they cannot please everybody
the UN will put pressure to change policies like voting and military service. remember Jesus said his people will know his voice. yes it hurts. but endure and not be afraid. time is near. you will never be alone
sincerely
bill swift
Awww poor babies. Do you apostates hurt yourselves by patting each other on the back all the time? Poor little snowflakes that have to air their dirty laundry for all the libtardian other apostates to read…
Bane…you BONEHEAD! Go comment on your stupid Jw.orgy movies! Smozzle up to Toni Morris…maybe he will let you wear tight pants and scrub his urinal! You know what this cult is like…just look at your comment and look in the mirror! Apostates have dirty laundry…ohhhh what about Jw.orgy protecting pedophiles…their filthy laundry is being aired all over…The stench of her(JW.orgy) is rising….soon her flag will fly…At half Mast perhaps…And why the hell are you on here? Bored with the same old…lah lah lah de dumb stuff on you Jw.org channel? Take your White washed Demonic propaganda and stick it in your veg cart .
This pic captures soo much emotion, feelings…mks me soo sad…think of my own Mom…be doing this same thing thinking that is what God expects of her…when it is just the seven grand Pubas of Jw.org! These 7 corrupt leaders of this cult need their poly suspenders pulled up hard, twisted tight!They are leaders of an extremist cult, like Russia has deemed them…they have forced soo many good and kind people to go against human nature to show love to fellow humans never mind their own offsprings they must turn on or offer as a sacrifice to the pagan god that the Jw.org cult worships! Jw.org GB has to be held accountable for all the hurt and pain their doctrines and policies promote and force upon any who stay within it’ s hold. Make them pay taxes…they are not a charitable org. that they claim to be…they are a blood sucking, life sucking …money sucking cult that has hurt soo many people…uncover it’s sins…bring it down!